missed again

i can barely hear you.
just a few words here and there.
i'll always recognize you, though.
i swear
"i love you," i hear.
Then, "i love you SO MUCH."
[i love you, too]
but there's no one to hold me, no one to touch.
can't let myself cry
i HAVE to hear your voice
can't stop the tears from rolling though--
there i have no choice
a harsh click:
can start sobbing again
the farther away you are from me
that blade gets shoved farther in
i actually thought i was ok,
thought i was doing alright
then something like this rips me open again...
bet i won't sleep much tonight.

i hold them in my arms
wishing as much could be done for me
i don't cry in front of them.
they naver get to see
what i once showed you.